The Backwards Game

A few years ago I heard an extremely funny line in a TV show. A boy was trying to disguise something he had been doing and had to make something up on the spot. He wasn't very good at it and said he had been watching a superhero show called Captain Backwards. "He saves the day at the beginning and does all the boring stuff at the end." Then he added, reflectively. "It's a terrible show. I don't know why I watch it."

Similarly, most people I've ever run into talk backwards. They simply lie. They say the opposite of what they mean. I am quite aware that all feedback I've ever received on anything in my life, from my height, to my weight, to my stories, has been the opposite of what the person really thought. Even if they believe that they mean what they say, it's obviously backwards--obvious to me and to everyone else. I think this is a terrible idea and I don't know why they do it. What is the point of a show that there's no reason to watch after five minutes? And what is the point of saying something negative you don't even mean, or praising something you don't even like?

I say what I mean because that is a much smarter thing to do. If I hate bananas and claim to praise them, you know what will happen? People will believe me and start giving me bananas. They will always order banana sundaes for me and buy me banana yogurt when I'm sick. They will get me fried plantains and smile sweetly about how they know it's my favorite. Since I hate bananas--which I do, by the way--I will be miserable. And all because I lied and said the opposite of what I really think. I didn't want to admit I hated bananas, for some indiscernible reason, and now I'm living the banana nightmare.

Honesty really is the best policy. I don't throw a fuss when people do certain things because I'm hurt. It's because it was the wrong thing for them to do. They were just lying and I despise lying. It's idiotic. I don't have time for arguments, so I'm just going to believe what you say. If you wanted to make friends--cursing at me and saying I was stupid and fat was a foolish move. I'm not going to bother unraveling people's psychology. I'm just going to agree with them. So it isn't the best idea to say something you might regret my agreeing with.

And there will be more updates.